Jerkcity

JERKCITY CARES

Pants put together JERKCITY CARE PACKAGES for all of you Jerkcity fans.

If you were interested in acquiring one, you should’ve dropped your address at a NOW REMOVED link.

Supplies were limited and of varying quality.

# November 20, 2002
44 Comments (Comments are closed)
Harry wrote:

Do you ship to Canada? :(

Stonewall Jackson wrote:

UNSOILED BUT WELL WORN PLEASE

P000 wrote:

SIR THE IDEA OF A JERKCITY CARE PACKAGE IS NICE BUT SEEING THE GRAY (GREY FOR YOU FAGGOTS WHO CAN NOT SPELL) TEXT AGAIN ON JERKCITY (HENCEFORWARD REFERRED TO AS "THE STRIP" SANS QUOTES) WOULD BE REALLY KEEN.

max wrote:

would pay to get dicklicking in canada also.

Ed wrote:

Ooh, tempting. Meant to post how well I stalked Spigot from another site--his brainchild--and found an email address, as well as a picture and 15-year-old BBS posts (!!). CAN THIS BE USED AS BLACKMAIL???

kingBooze wrote:

HOPING THE PACKAGE WILL BE PORTABLE ENOUGH TO BRING TO THE PUBLIC PARKS / RESTROOMS / ETC. BUT ALSO BIG ENOUGH TO SHARE!!!!!!!

AmishDoom wrote:

I WOULD LIKE A BONG WITH A PICTURE OF PANTS ON IT THX

kipland kinkel wrote:

god... I can't think of a single thing I wouldnt do to acquire a nice fat roll of rands stickers to put on my victims.

dord wrote:

I'm looking forward to see what's on the next mailing...

also, how and why is jerkcity paying for this? the first mailing wasn't that intersesting, I just assumed it was a test to see what addresses were live.

Klaatu wrote:

Stickers that say "surf naked at Jerkcity.com" with
Pants smiling on a surf board would be awesome.

sorty wrote:

ASSUMING THAT WE ARE RECEIVING PRE PAID BLOW JOB CARDS AND BIG FAT COCKSUCKITY PICTURES OF YOU DICKLICKERS

OR AT LEAST AIDS

rands wrote:

JERKCITY PACKAGES ARE PAID FOR BY shit I don't know.

AND YOU'LL GET WHAT YOU PAY FOR.

Ricard wrote:

I'd pay for a shirt. Stop the dicklicking and get me a shirt. Or a table made out of dongs. Either one.

yojauta wrote:

Since Wednesday when I got my packages I've been trying, but I can't think of a non-cutesy/geeky way to express my thanks -- so I guess I'll just offer FREE HEAD TO ANY OF THE JERKCITY CREW WHO COMES TO ITHACA KTNX (LHUAGLUHAGLUAULGLUHAGLUHAGUHLAG).

Now I'm one of the lucky few to own a Vietnam Airlines barf bag!

kingBooze wrote:

I would also pay for a shirt.

T RANDS DID YOU GET THE VECTOR PANTS SHIRT DESIGN I SENT YOU???? I SENT IT MONTHS AGO BUT NO RESPONSE. SHOULD I RESEND?? ARE YOU OK???? SERIOUSLY CAN NOT FIGURE THIS OUT

imploded wrote:

T RANDS 404 DICKS NOT FOUND COCKSUCKING ABORTED?!!?!?! NEEDING DICKS, GLORY HOLES, INDEX.CGI FOR HLGHALGAGH

I would pay for anything with COCKSUCKING, HGLAHGLAHGLA, or even WHORES on it.

Spike wrote:

AUSTRALIAN JERKFANS ARE SADDENED BY THE NON-SHIPPING TO AUSTRALIA. EVEN FOREIGNERS WOULD LIKE TO FEEL THE LOVE, BALLS.

SERIOUSLY MAKE WITH THE JERKSHIRTS. I SWEAR I'VE BEEN WAITING LIKE EIGHTEEN YEARS FOR A JERKSHIRT. AND THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE.

WE LOVE YOU ANYWAY.

Majestic aka lmcanterojr wrote:

Rands, Pants, Hanford & the rest of the Jerkcity Crew,

I want to thank you very much for the packages. The first package was great (not to mention entertaining as hell), and the second package - well what can I say? It left me speechless. You folks went WAY above and beyond my expectations, and it is very much appreciated. Anything I can do to help out again, just say it.

Thanks again!

Luis (a.k.a. Majestic)

Stonewall Jackson wrote:

My school has a really shitty literary arts magazine - would you like to be published in it once a month?

Yeah and get a move on with the T-shirts. Do you know how many people I've turned into rabid JC fans??? YOU ARE SITTING ON A GOLDEN MINE!

P000 wrote:

CAN U PPL TEECH ME TO HAXOR TEH LUNIX???

KIM JONG IL wrote:

WHAT THE FUCK'S IN THE PACKAGE ??

NO US DOLLARS

ryan wrote:

hmm... i tried registering for the stuff, but i got a 404 error when i clicked the submit button.

joshua wrote:

thanks. got the letter, improved an otherwise bullshit-infused morning. now i can show off my cocksucking in style.

CosmicRoach wrote:

I think Penny-Arcade may have just given Jerkcity a nod, where in Tycho says, and I quote "Back to cock sucking, though."

Can anyone decipher the meaning of this cryptic message?

yojauta wrote:

It means "PLEASE KICK MY UGLY BALD HEAD IN UNTIL I DIE FROM BOREDOM!!!!!!!!!"

The more you know...

shrike wrote:

hey, i'm in australia and i still put my details in on the off chance that they might send one purely for the novelty factor and demand t-shirts of me in melbourne's poo-pushing district.

AmishDoom wrote:

Thank you very much for the gayness in my mailbox. I shall display it upon my fridge, so that I may be reminded of your dong licking and bong smoking ways every time I fetch more food to cram in to my fat, sweaty face.

P000 wrote:

I HEAR THAT EMMA IS HOT IF YOU'RE INTO THAT

shrike wrote:

I got my care package today. I feel loved in a way that I have never felt before, unless I was the centre of attention at a bukkake party. Now, here's the funny part: on the side of the postcard without all the stickers was strip #13 "Saving Private Dicklicker". My housemate is called Ryan. Spooky, no?
Thanks heaps for the consideration extended to your overseas fans. Love and kisses!

P000 wrote:

I GOT MY ENORMOUS POSTCARD AND IT'S THE SAME AS SHRIKES POSTCARD OMG WE COULD BE SISTERS SLEEPOVER/BAB5 PARTY @ MY PLACE.COM

Kip Kinkel wrote:

THX FOR PSTCRD RANDS LOVE YOU K BYE

shrike wrote:

I am a big fan of sleepovers. Should I bring a sleeping bag? Absinthe? Strap-on?

nil wrote:

Many thanks for the postcard. Very cool.

Any word on Jerkshirts yet?

I'M ELLEN FEISS AND I'M A STUDENT !!! BEEP BEEP BEEP !!! (BONGNOISES)

Yarn wrote:

I hope it is ok that I have been making photo copies and distributing them to the homeless.

dord wrote:

I and everyone else I know only got the first jerk-mailing. What did #2 and #3 look like??

mako wrote:

so uh i submitted mine last night (i think) rather late but before the linky was removed, am i getting one? btw, the name you're sending it to is the NOTORIOUS BIG, please don't tell anyone i have been reborn as a white college student.

Ed wrote:

I love being a part of nation-wide obscenity--"SAVING PRIVATE DICKLICKER," right out there for everyone to see.

Thanks, guys.

Tim Moore wrote:

Thanks for the postcard. Now my roommates think I'm gay. But just because you like to lick dicks doesn't mean you're gay.

Harry wrote:

Got my postcard today.

THANK YOU PANTS (I LOVE YOU) AND THE REST OF THE JERKCITY GANG.

MERRY CHRISTMAS, HAPPY HOLIDAYS, HAPPY NEW YE-- AH HELL WITH IT HUGALUGAHAHUGAHLUGA

tito wrote:

STILL WAITING FOR JERKCITY BUMPER STICKERS TO DECORATE THE GEOGRAPHY BUILDING MEN'S ROOM STALLS WITH.

Caroline wrote:

I love you kip kinkel!I love you!

glory hole wrote:

Allo


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