Breaking News
CAMP AS SAYLIYAH, QATAR, April 15, 2003 — Coalition forces destroyed nine separate Iraqi Baath Party headquarters overnight, a Central Command spokesman said at a press briefing today.
The attacks included an “emerging target” in northeast Basra where 200 Iraqi regime paramilitary members were believed to be assembled for a meeting.
“We’ve been able to target some key elements of (the) Baath Party and some … terrorist cell organizations,” said Air Force Maj. Gen. Victor E. Renuart, Central Command director of operations, “but what’s more important is we appeared to have discovered a cache of previously unreleased Jerkcity books.”
The general continued, “From the samples we’ve found, the books are clearly high quality. These books were not produced by Iraqi irregulars — these are the real deal… possibly produced directly by elite Republican Guard units. Our initial assessment of the books is that they contain 128 pages of weapons grade Jerkcity comedy.”
Gen. Tommy Franks, the U.S. commander of Operation Iraqi Freedom added, “Additionally, our intelligence is reporting the discovery of an original Jerkcity glossary located at the end of each of the book. This was an unexpected find in item usually considered to be a reproduction of existing comedy. We’re very pleased.”
“Pricing and distribution will be determined at a time of our choosing and on our terms,” the commander finished, “But we’re talking a matter of days, not weeks.”
[4/20/03 Update]: We’re live…
I have never, in my whole live, been so thankful that a picture was blurry.
No, I don't want to see a clearer version.
You know I'm buying that book the SECOND it's available. P.S. LICKY DICKY!?!!?!?!
WELCOME TO THE WORLD WIDE WLGULGUGLUALGULHUALHLAUGLGUALUHLUAGLUALGULAUGLAUG
T RANDS IT'S ABOUT TIME (DO I GET JERKSTICKERS WITH PURCHASE?)
GOD IS IN TEH WIRED LOLOLOL
ABOUT DAMNED TIME. BUYING MULTIPLE COPIES.
(now do I get sticker?)
All my life there has been something missing. I tried to fill it with sex, drugs, rock and/or roll, Dungeons & Dragons, marriage (well, almost), Colorforth, academic achievement, and determined, long term abuse of alcohol.
I believe this book can fill my void.
Any other suggestions as to what can fill my void should be written on a postcard and sent to:
100 King William Street
Adelaide, South Australia, 5000
Australia
SO EXCITED FOR JERKCITY BOOK I'M SUCKING MYSELF OFF MMMFHOAUGAGHLGAMMMMMMFFFFFF
News Flash:
The other caches of The Big Book of Jerkcity
were looted by a Golden Horde from the Jerkcity Museum while Coalition troops stood by. The curator of The Jerkcity Museum, Dr. Hanford, Ph.D., said that the looters appeared to be organised and knew what they were looking for! The US. goverment is issuing a reward for the return of these priceless artifacts of the Iraqi cultural heritage. rands- you could be rewarded some excellent cash!
Peace,
HEY SISKO/SHRIKE I THINK THIS WALLABY WILL FILL YOUR VOID QUITE SNUGLY
Shit, I forgot Jerkcity was also a comic. I've been reading Rands on RSS and came across this.
hang on, let me add this to my 'holy shit' list, RIGHT NEXT TO THE NONEXISTENT JERKCITY T-SHIRT I WAS PROMISED AND NEVER RECEIVED
rands, once again you've managed to ruin christmas for the children
t yojauta: While I am not averse to a little wallaby stuffing, I maintain that you should write that on a postcard and mail it to the relevant address.
So the big picture shows that it has a real author. That mean you guys are coming out of the closet? Someone actually wants to take credit for Jerkcity??
http://rands.jerkcity.com/assets/b1.jpg
Also the book looks kinda thin.
Also explain these pictures:
http://rands.jerkcity.com/assets/desert.jpg
http://rands.jerkcity.com/assets/bucked.jpg
http://rands.jerkcity.com/assets/schoolgirl.jpg
Obviously not enough! Last I heard you guys were l33t anonymous underground hacker heros.
STOP WORRYING ABOUT CRAPPY BOOKS AND START WORRYING ABOUT WHY THE STRIPS ARE NOT FUNNY AT ALL ANYMORE
it's been almost a year since there's been a good block of them
I would buy that book if it gave lengthy discussion on Jean Charles and Dean Stark
Re: Jean Charles;
The description may be in the Big book of Jerkcity glossary.
Hold on for now, Mode.
Kerfrutti,
agreed, jerkcity isn't so funny anymore; the heyday was around the time of the "can't beat off or even get an erection without catbox" gag. where did those laughs go?
THE BRILLIANCE OF JERKCITY IS ONLY OUTSHINED BY THE RETARDEDNESS OF ITS READERS.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF IT'S MORE THAN $24.95 I WILL INDEED BE BOYCOTTING JERKCITY FOREVER (READ: FORGETTING TO VISIT LIKE USUAL)
I AM SERIOUSLY WRITING QUITE AN ANGRY LETTER TO THE STAFF IN AN EFFORT TO INCREASE THE STANDARTS OF THIS COMIC STRIP TO MY LINKING DURF CLANG BANG CRUNCH
oooh man, you're going to make a dent in my wallet. poor canadian jobless ex-student over here, have a litle heartaghlaghlaglhalgh.
t rands I couldn't help but notice that the book features "big gay fonts" and I'm construing this to be a rip-off of my famed "BIG GAY BALLS (BGB)" commentary made famous in #jerkcity
HUAHGLAUAHLGUHAGA JERKBOOK
I FINALLY BOUGHT A JERKBOOK (WAS RE: AMAZON)
HURF HURF WAITING FOR MR. UPS MAN
